"I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety, for the lord was watching over me." Psalm 3:5 NLT
In this Psalm, David reflects his experience while at war with son, Absolom. He speaks of resting, even though his enemies hope for his demise. And not just an ordinary rest, but one where he awakes safely, free from hurt and harm because the Father watched over him.
I read this verse recently and began to think of how I was asleep for so long; years of terror filled sleep that didn’t result in rest. I wasn’t any less stressed, depressed, or anxious. I knew I had a promise, but I laid my body in sin and let it be the covers that dressed me at night. I rested my head on its pillow, on its unending desire to trap me.
My Absolom was the bitterness I loved to eat; it was the moments I refused freedom and the chains I kept pulling even when they were shattered. The tormentors chased me just as David's enemy's did, and they grew more creative in my dreams. They painted a picture in my mind and I felt it the second my eyes opened.
I slept this way for years, wondering if I was too far gone. I hoped I could be rescued by the love I had once felt through Christ, so I called His name in the midst of the valley. I fumbled through my words, but He knew my heart. I wavered in doubt, but He honored my request.
I laid down and slept, and when I woke up, my eyes had to adjust to God’s light because He showed up so strong. This is after years of betraying His name; digging myself into circumstances that could have stolen my health, name, and place here on this Earth. I didn’t just wake up; I woke up in safety. With a fresh set of clothes made of His mercy and grace.
He showed me He had never left. That He had watched over me until I was ready to get up and let Him take over. I’m alive because He didn’t give up on my rescue. I'm alive because the promise in the valley isn't just one of provision; it's a promise that He fights for His children.
-Farren
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